Jason Lancaster

Of all the odd ways to wake up, one of the strangest happened to me this morning: I woke up to the sound of Emily whining, lying with her feet on the bed and body down on the floor, and Cleopatra, her cat, hacking up/throwing up a hairball. Just as I jumped up and turned on the lamp, and before I quite figured out what was going on, Cleo threw up in Emily’s hand, ran off and began to puke on a comforter lying on the floor. So I did what any sane person would do at 6am. I dove off the bed, did a belly flop onto the floor and picked the cat up just as she was hurling and threw her about four feet across the room onto the wood floor.

I had a freaky dream last night. I was wandering the streets when I saw some sort of problem. I can’t remember if it was a car accident or if someone physically assaulted someone. All I can remember is that the person who did the wrong deed was driving a car and I was trying to get their license plate number. It was hard to read because it was dark and foggy out and I had to get real close. As I was nearing, the guy who did the wrong deed told me I needed to leave in a threatening manner. I ignored him and kept trying to read his license plate. He pulled out a knife to deter me but it did not phase me at all. He sliced my forearm and I laughed at him. Then he put me in a headlock and dragged me over to a gray electrical fuse box and said, “We’ll see how you like having a circuit breaker box inserted into your arm.”

He disconnected a breaker and began slicing into my left bicep. After cutting a two inch chunk of muscle out of the center of my bicep, I woke up right as he began shoving the breaker switch into my muscle.

I have no idea what this dream means. I think I’ve been around too much electrical equipment recently or something.

I’ve been having some really odd (and vivid) dreams recently. Last night was without exception. Here are some thoughts from last night:

The first was a new sport I’ll call mountain-ice biking. Riders have specially fitted mountain bikes with spikes for tires, special sled feet that can be fitted, and all kinds of padding and protection. Lift 250 riders up to the top of an icy steep ski slope with a starting line. Then like a horse race, lower the bar and they’re off. 250 riders down a ski slope create a huge avalanche and then you have to ride it down to the bottom. The first rider to the bottom wins. I was in the race but I woke up before I found out who won. I just remember how hard it was to navigate my ice-bike through an avalanche.

The second was something from Terminator 3. I had a dream that I was out back of my old house by the pool and the sky was a very dark gray. Rebecca and a few of her friends were swimming in the pool. I was pondering the gray skies when I saw about 300 rockets coming towards us and realized that it was a nuclear missile attack. I didn’t know what to do; they were coming right at us. It was really creepy. I yelled to Rebecca and her friends to run into the basement and ran down there myself. I stood at the bottom of the stairs to help them down. Very few of them made it down there before the bombs went off. I’m pretty sure Rebecca did though. Once they started going off I remember calculating where we should hide. Since the bombs were coming from a southern direction I decided we should hide in the southwest corner of our basement where the garage would protect us. We closed our eyes and as soon as we opened them the house was gone and the basement was flooded. I didn’t know where Rebecca was, but I assumed she had drowned. I wanted to look but one of Rebecca’s friends told me I couldn’t and that I would have to be with her now since there were very few women left in the world. I remember thinking, “she’s too young” but she persisted that we must be together. Then I searched the flooded basement for Rebecca and woke up while searching.

Sorry Rebecca, I don’t know why you are always dying in my dreams. I’ll try and kill someone else next time.